I awake from a dark and frightening dream
Then remember we have a nightmare that’s real
That things are just as bad as they seem
Which helps explain the anxiety I feel
When morning first opens, engages my mind
Any terror I saw while I slumbered
Links to other black thoughts, and that’s when I find
Familiar bleak stories with which my mind’s encumbered
Negative notions from ago, but still with me now
Though I try to forget trouble no longer in sight
Still, that angst persists, supersedes good thoughts somehow
Credit my lizard’s brain always seeking reason for fight or for flight
Meditation can help, as can walks with our dog
With white clouds to admire, a partner to adore
And the most positive way to pull my mind from the bog
Is to remember people I loved, who walk among us no more
What happened to Sam and to Richard, to Mother and Dad
All much younger than I am now, when they departed?
The unfulfilled yearnings and hopes that they had
The missions they dreamed of but never started?
In leaving they taught me the key thing to know
To manage my mind so comfort and joy can arrive
Let my consciousness expand so understanding can grow
Remember to breath, to affirm awareness that I’m still alive
Yes, I abhor this place, standing forever in line
Or have to do other things I particularly hate
But I can inventory the working parts of the body still mine
Though quite a few have passed their “should use by” date
And this: In the days that remain before I’m ashes and dust
Feel gratitude for having what’s uniquely mine to give
Follow this plan for a peace I always can trust:
Try to be of service to others for as long as I live.
so glad you have:
“walks with our dog
With white clouds to admire, a partner to adore”
that about does it in my book!
I’m calling you later today.
I agree with Suzanne, but add that we also have friends we love who share our reflections, questions, and forever quests–and knowing these friends are watching the very same clouds does ease the angst just a tiny bit. It’s cool to think, realize, there is this network of souls on the same page. I hope I’m wrong, and that we really live forever.
thank you so much bill for your insightful words. in my experience, a current nightmare can trigger past nightmares or even just move me toward the fight, flight or freeze response. what you bring up for me is where do we put our focus – how do we marvel in the ordinary, the day to day that sometimes gets lost in the scurry and flurry of our fast lives. knowing that in many ways, we are all carrying this tension right now and trying to find ways of working with it – of keeping our attention on gratitude for that which we do have. thank you